Apprentice: I really enjoyed your examples of irritation, such as ‘squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle’ and ‘whose turn it is to unpack the dishwasher……
Teachers: The khandro-pawo nyid-da mélong gyüd [1] teaches that when making love the khandro and pawo focus on the pleasure of their partner rather than on whether their own pleasure is being satisfied. Similarly you can focus on whether you can do a job rather than relying on others to do it in their turn, because of the pleasure you experience through saving them the work. There is a story of beings trying to eat using forks with incredibly long handles. In nirvana this works because everyone is enjoying feeding each other. In hell it is great suffering because everyone is trying to feed themselves and so the long-handled forks become a desperate encumbrance. [2]
[1] The khandro-pawo nyid-da mélong gyüd (mKha’ ’gro dPa’ bo nyi zLa me long rGyud) is a teaching where romantic relationship becomes a spiritual practice. See Entering the Heart of the Sun and the Moon by Ngakpa Chögyam and Khandro Déchen, Aro Books Inc, 2009.
[2] This story is attributed to an itinerant preacher, Rabbi Haim of Romshishok, Lithuania page 120, Illusory Advice, Ngakma Nor’dzin & Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin, Aro Books Worldwide, 2016, ISBN: 978-1-898185-37-6
page 120, Illusory Advice, Ngakma Nor’dzin & Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin, Aro Books Worldwide, 2016, ISBN: 978-1-898185-37-6
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